i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
