just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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