Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
