You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
