the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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