You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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