Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I am naked and annoyed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
