I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
