I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My nipple is on Facebook.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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