Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
