Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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