he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ruined the universe
Randomize
