Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
