it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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