Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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