If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
