Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
