he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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