party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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