i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
