She's JV to your varsity
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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