I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
