What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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