oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
