cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
