An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
