She's JV to your varsity
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
