I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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