I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize