I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Did you just see the Batmobile???
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
