Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
