If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Congratulations! We have a period
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
