Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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