By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So vagazzling was a success
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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