All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize