I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Boobs speak an international language.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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