my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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