He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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