you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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