Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
