I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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