You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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