Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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