Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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