I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
