Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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