I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
