Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
