trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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