I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
