ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
