you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
