I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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