I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
