I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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