I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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