She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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