And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
